How Does Fear Work?
‘Why would I want to know more about fear than… how to get rid of it?’ or ‘What’s the importance of the process, when all I want is to know ways in which I can keep it under control?’ you may ask. And these are good questions, as dealing with fear is no fun at all. At least, until you discover it is a fear and find the right solutions for you, to overcome it.
In all my studies about fear so far, I found that the most difficult part in dealing with fear is to discover you have it! Once you know it is there, your mind will find the right solutions to overcome it, if you are committed to do this.
How the below practical exercise will help you, is to discover that you have a fear before going through the more-difficult pain that comes with being stuck. As fear lies at the very bottom of all negative emotions, and sometimes at the bottom of positive emotions as well, you cannot always figure it out from the first sight of unease.
Here is how fear works:
- It mainly starts with emotional pain. You would want to do something, to act, but something is creating negative feelings about that thing. You could feel blocked, feel that you simply cannot go further and have your mind create Hollywood-type scenarios.
- These scenarios are not supporting you in any way, but you get to a place where you become so frustrated, as there seems to be no way out. I call it the mind labyrinth.
- Fear usually hides under all these feelings of unworthiness, overwhelming and lack of vision.
- When you decide to be strong enough to start digging through the pain and ask yourself several questions, which I encourage you to always do, you will discover that there is a lack. There is something missing and you still do not quite know what is wrong.
When you want to leave all this behind, here are some great, yet simple questions to ask yourself. And yes, pen and paper are a must this time as well:
- Why am I feeling like this? Get the answer, then continue to ask yourself: “Why?” Continue until you get the answer you have been looking for. Which is the right answer? When you get to the very core issue that has been bothering you, you will know.
You will get the answer as a fear, something that you need to do, or that you need to learn from. When you discover the fear, you get the clarity that now at least you know where you need to go. You know what is going on and there is no more lack and confusion.
- What is the best solution that I need to put in practice starting from now, with the resources that I have now, to move on?
As you now find the best solution, you will get your fear under control. It is that simple. However, you need to desire really, strongly, to leave the fear behind. To move past it, by either finding the learnings or doing the thing that you are afraid of.
Do let me know how this exercise goes for you.